We’ve all found ourselves in negative situations which made us wonder just how we managed to get there. How did we allow ourselves to feel so low/ unmotivated /drained and – more importantly – how can we get ourselves out? I’m no expert, but I have experienced getting myself out of a rut numerous times and am sure to do so again MANY times. So, what tips do I have to share about how to help turn your frown upside down and kick start you onto the path of a positive mindset and a positive lifestyle? Check out the list of tools I’ve learnt to use (and am still learning to use) below.
1. Positive Self-talk, Positive Mindset
Okay, so this a big one. Self-talk? I hear you say, what on earth? It’s easy to get so identified with our internal chatter that we often don’t even notice when we’re doing it. Negative internal rebuts could include something like: ‘Why did you do that? / You should’ve XYZ / Why do you have to be so XYZ?’. They seem to rise to the mind so quickly and unconsciously that they’re hard to catch and say… wait, hang on a second, this negative self-talk is not helpful or constructive at all.
In those moments where you catch your self-judgement or lack of compassion, love or acceptance towards yourself, try to turn that thought on it’s head. Instead try saying ‘I tried my best with the information I had at the time’, ‘I’m worthy of love and there will be other chances in the future’, ‘I am enough’.
Words really do carry a power that affect us. Did you hear about that experiment where Japanese pseudoscientist Dr. Masaru Emoto experimented with speaking words of gratitude and words of disgust near different samples of water? On inspection, the water samples that had been showered with love and gratitude had formed beautiful, geometrical shapes, whereas the other samples showed shapes which looked destroyed.
Given that the human body is 70% water, it’s a given that all humans are sensitive to the energies around them. Hearing words of degradation can seep into our unconscious and stay there if we let them, which is why it’s so important to try and remain aware of our own internal thoughts and to maintain positive affirmations.
2. Decluttered Environment, Decluttered Mind
It can be easy to underestimate just how much of an affect our environment has on our mindset. Whether you live in a mansion or a studio apartment, how tidy you keep your surroundings can really affect your mood.
An act as simple as washing the dishes or taking out the trash, mowing the lawn or folding the laundry can even become meditative (shocking I know!) and bring a sense of peace and satisfaction in knowing that you’ve done something positive for yourself.
Just like a cluttered mind finds it hard to focus, having a cluttered environment means you can’t find those nice pair of jeans you bought recently and leads to a train of easily avoidable frustrating moments. Letting go of the things we no longer need can also make a literal space for those things that we want to attract into our lives.
So, declutter and say a grateful goodbye to all those items in your home and wardrobe which no longer ‘spark your joy’ as Marie Kondo says in her Netflix series. According to Feng Shui, clutter can block and drain you of your positive energy. So, cleaning your environment and decluttering your house can really help you to create a positive mindset.
3. Positive Influences, Positive Mindset
Have you ever noticed how talking to some people in your life can leave you feeling uplifted and even give a positive spin to your whole day? Of course, part of the fun of life is challenging ourselves to be in uncomfortable situations, but when it comes to your closest circle of support, try to connect with those people who lift you up, love you, applaud your successes and enjoy seeing you happy.
It’s not uncommon knowledge that we become like the people we surround ourselves with. So, surround yourself with people who inspire you, whose lifestyle and positive habits you want to learn from. If you don’t have anyone like that in your life right now, try going to classes that you enjoy such as yoga, cacao ceremonies, life drawing, kick-boxing, tai chi, surfing – whatever takes your liking.
It’s more likely you’ll meet likeminded people in places you enjoy going to yourself. It might also be that you have a skill you want to harness and share with your fellow tribe-to-be, so get creating and share your talents through online classes, events or groups.
4. Feel the pain
The society we live in teaches us to run in the opposite direction from pain. But pain is sometimes necessary to live through in order to achieve something beautiful. Take the experience of giving birth for instance: with it come painful contractions, sweat, blood and tears, but living through this experience means that you get to bring a new, beautiful life into the world at the end of it all.
Sometimes it’s important to feel our internal suffering in order to release it from our bodies. If you’re going through a breakup, a period of loss or some kind of painful situation, try training yourself to face your internal pain whenever it arises with a sense of compassion. Letting the pain simmer unattended can often stifle healing and growth as well, so, if you have the chance, feel the pain and walk yourself out through the other end. (Easier said than done, I know!)
5. Do what you love
One of the easiest and quickest ways to change up and lighten your mood is to turn on your favourite tune and dance around the living room with a hairbrush or with your partner. Do those things that bring joy to your heart – that you used to love to do when your were little. It could be anything from going swimming to going on a short jog, painting a picture, skydiving, writing in your journal, horse riding, going to the beach, or taking a SUP class with a friend.
As the character Socrates said in Dan Millman’s book ‘Way of the Peaceful Warrior’:
‘The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old but on building the new.’
Excerpt from the book ‘Way of the peaceful warrior’ by Dan Millman #ad
So, instead of focusing on what’s not quit perfect right now, try focusing on what you can do to make your present moment more enjoyable. Sometimes a positive mindset just happens to appear by the grace of some higher power but, when it doesn’t, give it a go and start doing something that you love. If you find yourself unmotivated or lethargic, that’s okay, there’s many different ways to lift your spirit up, so read on!
6. Treat you body well
These, days more an more people are becoming aware of the importance of healthy eating and nutritious meals and how eating well can have a positive affect on our mindset and wellbeing. Eating well, sleeping well and exercising every so often are they key tools our body needs to maintain a positive mindset amongst other beneficial outcomes.
It’ scientifically proven that our gut produces over 90% of our serotonin which greatly affects our mood. So eating lots of fruits, vegetables, omega 3 rich foods and gut friendly foods such as yoghurt and kimchi really does make a difference. And exercising doesn’t just have to mean a grueling 30 minute gym session (unless that’s right up your alley of course!). It could be anything from a fun Zumba class to a three hour hike in nature.
If you notice that most of your attention is focused outwards on other people, take a moment to check yourself, are you giving enough attention to your own self care? If not, what small thing can you start doing to looking after yourself? It could be anything from taking a warm, relaxing bath to cooking yourself a delicious chicken soup.
7. Connect with nature
Getting back into nature literally gets us in touch with our roots. All of the dramas in our life seem to melt away when we take some time out to connect with the natural world.
So take a walk outside, soak up the beautiful trees, streams, sunshine and flowers to remind yourself of just how beautiful life can be and to boost your mood. It’ s an easily accessible way to go off the grid for a while and usually just involves volunteering on the farm in exchange for shelter and food. I always swear by trips to the beach, there’s something in that sea air which really blows out the cobwebs and leaves you feeling rejuvenated. If you have the opportunity, there’s also lots of homestay options on farms through the WWOOF website.
8. Mindfulness
The things we feed our minds with daily can have a big impact on our mood and outlook on life. Sometimes it’s good to turn off the news and listen to people that we find inspiring. Coaches and authors such as Garrain Jones and Dr. Shefali have some really helpful tips on how to change your mindset and your life for the better. #ad I’d highly recommend Dr. Shefali’s book: ‘A Radical Awakening, Turn pain into power, Embrace your truth, Live free’ as well as Norman Vincent Peale’s book: ‘The Power of Positive Thinking’ if your looking for somewhere to start. The list of podcasts, authors and public speakers on the topic of changing your mindset is endless.
Instead of relying on the default programmes that you see on your TV set, start seeking out voices and people that align with how you want to think, that share a message that you are interested in exploring. There’s nothing wrong with that Netflix binge for a bit of comfort and disconnection, but when your looking to create a positive mindset, becoming selective about what you watch and read has an underestimated amount of influence.
As well as being mindful of what television shows and books we consume, engaging in mindful activities such as meditation, Tai Chi, Yoga, playing an instrument and painting can help keep our minds clear, focused and our bodies feeling relaxed and joyful. Meditation doesn’t necessarily have to be sitting still with your eyes closed. It could mean washing the dishes or mowing your lawn mindfully for example.
9. Practice makes Perfect
It’s all very well to get yourself set on trying to create a positive mindset, but without daily or weekly practice of the activities and practices which help you change your mindset, it’s unlikely that you will see results. Our minds literally have to be trained into thinking a certain way, so don’t be disgruntled if things probably won’t just change over night. All good things are worth making the effort for, so keep at it and don’t give up!